Sunday, April 19, 2015

     Update City
  Population: me

    It's April, and the medical stuff is glacially progressing towards Estrogenville!
    I saw a doctor regarding my transition back in December, thinking that I would have to get OFF of the Warfarin (aka Coumadin) that I had been prescribed for blood clots. (I had a couple blood clots in my upper right arm in May 2014... see first blog entry for more info) She referred me to a hematologist. I talked to him, and he said that due to a mutation in my blood that makes me more prone to clotting, that I would most likely be on Warfarin or its like for the rest of my life... HOWEVER, this hematologist saw no reason that I couldn't have the estrogen I've wanted since I realized I was transgender. My heart leapt!!! He said that my taking estrogen would only increase my risk of a blood clot by five to ten percent... I LIKE those odds!!!
    So I spoke to my doctor again, asking when I could FINALLY get the sweet nectar of estrogen... She said that the level of Warfarin in my bloodstream would have to be stable for them to start me on estrogen. However, I was assured that this would be the last hurdle I'd have to surmount to obtain what I've been searching for. (Or if not the absolute last, then damn close...) I've been having my blood tested to check the level of Warfarin in it (they call it an "INR", which I believe stands for "International Normalized Ratio"), and my last INR was exactly where they wanted it!!! I'll get another test (I wish I could study for these things! lol) in a couple weeks, and if all goes well; I think that I may FINALLY reach the city limits of Estrogenville!!! Fingers, toes & eyes crossed...

    Now comes the part where I admit my failings-  I had a job... A good job... But I done screwed myself out of it because I had... more feelings to push away, apparently...  In November, I was ticketed for Use of Intoxicant... I was inhaling computer duster to get high. Irresponsible, I know; but these are the things addicts like myself do (or DID... More about that in a moment...) You'd THINK that this would be a BIG wake-up call... Guess again. I began to steal computer duster from my job, using it to get high with; and they caught me stealing it, and rightfully fired me. ("What a dumbass!" "I know, I know..." "SO irresponsible..." "Right." "And stupid..." "All RIGHT, already!!! I KNOW I fucked up!!! <heavy sigh>" {This was just some of the dialogue I had with myself...} )
     The resulting court appearances, probation, and loss of money were the wake-up call I needed to FINALLY get the help I needed to stop getting intoxicated! As of this writing, I have over 2 months CLEAN AND SOBER!!! I never thought I'd be glad about something like that, but I really am... Plus I have met some good friends who are also in recovery; both through the AA meetings (granted, more of my problems stemmed from chemicals other than alcohol, but the lessons I've been learning are universal) which I attend weekly, and in other places. And just for today, I'm not going to use drugs or drink... Tomorrow's looking good on that score as well... After that? Well, I can't guarantee anything, but the PLAN is to NOT get intoxicated... Ever again...

     Because I got fired, I'm searching for another full-time job. So far, all I've found is temp work, but I'm diligently searching for gainful employment. More on this as it develops!

     And now news from the romantical front... I am engaged!!! Yes, I; Olivia Hope Woodstock (last name soon to change- more on that in a later installment of this blog) am engaged!!! My fiancee's name is Wynter (for now... she's thinking of changing her name, but I'll love her no matter what...), and she is a trans girl just like yours truly. We have been engaged since January... I've not actually physically MET her yet, but I really don't give a rat's ass what she looks like... (I do KNOW what she looks like... We chat every day...) I'll avoid saying too awful much about her here to protect her privacy; but rest assured, we are in LOVE!!! My plan is to leave Minnesota (that sound you just heard was the collective gasp of thousands of incredulous Minnesotans... lol), and to be in her arms by Christmas 2016, or sooner if I'm able!!!

     So: to sum up...
     Livy is thisclose to her blessed estrogen, and a VERY large step in not being "the boy" anymore!!!
     Livy has over 2 months CLEAN AND SOBER, and intends to remain so in perpetuity!!!
     Livy needs a job... and is searching high and low for work...
     Livy is head-over-heels in love with, and engaged to a beautiful trans girl like herself!!!

     There's your update, kids... I'm sorry it took me so long to do this one!!! I really should blog, and write (poetry, fiction, whatever) more often... Apparently, I seem to have some kind of talent for it... [I try not to brag, because I hate people who do... but my therapist posed an interesting question last week... "When does it stop being bragging & become self-confidence?" So, I'll have to admit to myself that I can actually do something (other than breathe, eat, and take up an insane amount of space) reasonably well...] And I do find it kind of enjoyable, so I really will try to do it more often.

     Until next we meet here, on the road to Estrogenville (Population: millions of women), this is your friendly neighborhood Olivia, signing off!!! Peace, Love & Music to all!!! I wish you Happiness, Health, and Success!!!

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